Transformation happens outside of your comfort zone, and that’s OK.
Yesterday, I was listening to a Podcast on Birthful (https://www.birthful.com) , the person being interviewed was Whapio (who is a really big deal in the birth world, definitely look her up and have your mind blown https://thematrona.com) and she was talking about the holistic stages of labor. Naturally, I am clinging onto her every word, and at some point, she talks about how transformation happens outside of your comfort zone.
Something about those words really resonated with me and I had to sit with it for a while. I reflected on my own birth experiences and how they were such huge transformational events for me. I could go on and on, listing all of the changes that occurred after what I call my “Rite of Passage” (and I think it will be the subject of a future post) but what I want to talk to you about today is comfort zones.
No matter how you prepared for your birth; how many books you read, videos you watched, meditations you did, there is some point in labor where you are going to have some “what the (fill in the blank with your choice of curse word here)” moments. I remember not being sure if I needed to poop or throw up or do both at the same time, I remember throwing a popsicle at my husbands’ head (missing my shot and having it shatter on the wall behind him) when he offered me one, I remember rocking back and forth -repeating “it’s not fair” as though it was a mantra that my life depended on. I most definitely told off some people that I truly love and who did nothing at all to merit such vile treatment. I had lost my sense of control over the experience. I like having control over my experiences, I’m the type of gal who plans her own birthday parties and who cooks the whole damn dinner because I know exactly what I want and how I want it. So ya, I was WAY outside of my comfort zone.
What I also remember, is how cool everyone around me was about the fact that I was there. I was raw, naked, kinda really mean for parts of it, but that was OK. My husband, midwife and doula were COMFORTABLE with my DISCOMFORT, they were silent witnesses to my transformation. In a way, it was one of the biggest gifts that they gave me. It is a lesson that was taught to me by them and it is how I choose to show up at births now.
Let yourself go outside of your comfort zone, it does not scare me- I will honor that place for you. When you come out on the other side, transformed, I will honor that too.